the deepest feeling ever

I’m nervous, I’m anxious, apprehensive and restless. I feel like typing an entry that has no full stops. I can’t eat well. Food became tasteless, I just gobbled them up for the sake of surviving. Or just to take my mind off thinking about you. I’m guilty of comfort eating. I keep on drinking glasses after glasses of juice.

I think about you every day before I go to bed. You keep on making me feel queasy, you never fail to do so, not even for a day. The unsettling feeling leaves me unable to sleep because the moment I try to shut my eyes, images of you come rushing by and I can’t seem to breathe right. You are the first thing that comes to my mind too when I’m awake. Damn it, I need to be in a chirpy mood before I go off to work but how can I do so when I constantly get so sick of this current circumstance that both of us are in. I really miss you heaps I wish you could be the first thing that I see when I start my day, just like how it used to be.

Your replacement now is indeed a no match but I am grateful though for if not for it this situation might be worse. I might not be able to cope. I might be missing you even more.

I thought I am strong. I thought I could sail through this matter smoothly. I was wrong.

Gosh there’s nothing more I’d want right now than to see you back again. See you running up and about. Feel your love and warmth towards me. You, me, we have this connection that sets up apart from others. I want to see you strong again. I want to love you fiercely.

I called that chick and she told me it’s still in the process. Waiting for the approval that might be settled within this week. The word ‘might’ makes me feel sick. I get so anxious I feel like throwing up. There’s like a lead on my shoulder. Every breath that I take feels heavy.

I really love you.
I miss you so much.
I’ve never experienced anything like this before.

Si Hensem, I hope we would be able to overcome this problem asap. I hope the insurance matter would be settled within a flash. I hope we would be reunited again this weekend. I want it to happen so badly :( I hope you are feeling better and would be able to take me to anywhere I wanna go with no sweat. I can’t wait to drive you again. There’s better cars out there, but nothing beats the first love, baby.

facelift

I hope from looking at the pic you would've guessed what happened to me recently. It's such a hassle to inform each of my friends about the accident hence the decision to just upload the pic (that I took using my hp so pardon me for the very poor quality) and let it do the talking instead. I'm much of a private person so I hope you won't shower me with avalanche of questions about this accident. I was not hurt, the car is in the workshop somewhere in KL (where the incident happened), I'm using my mom's car at the moment and yes I do hope that the car would be fixed asap. Don't ask me when will the car be fixed, it is a very relative matter that depends on few parties. I don't have the will to make it done sooner nor later, all I can do is hope and pray and your prayers along with mine would be much appreciated :) And that is all I need from you, no nagging, no questions, no injection of thoughts that could make me gloomy, please. I prefer not to dwell on the past, thank you very much :)

Semoga Si Hensem (the name of my car :P) kembali hensem selepas facelift ini!

the craving

I'm fasting and I have this killer craving. I actually have been having this craving since last week (I don't know for what reason but the desire just popped out of nowhere). I have an uber ultimate craving for milkshakes! mmmm nyums~ I went to the States a year ago and had this chance to indulge in this glass of milkshake that was out of this world. It was that tasty! I had it at Steak n Shake restaurant at Illinois. I was there with this bunch of M'sian students for a game that is held annually for M'sian students studying in the States. I was not one of them but I joined in the bandwagon anyway :P The main thing that I could remember from this trip was,.... obviously, the milkshake! I wish I have pictures of those tasty milkshakes. There were like, 5 of different flavours on our table and we didn't mind sharing and sipping each milkshakes although we barely knew each other at that time. Guess the milkshakes bring all of us closer! :D

Because of the lacking of the pictures, I had tough time remembering the name of this restaurant. I was so into this craving that I actually wikipedia-ed milkshake and the determination definitely paid off and as soon as I saw the name "Steak N Shake", I knew I hit the jackpot. The memory came rushing in :)


I wish the outlet would open soon in Malaysia. There's Wendy's and Carl's Jr. but it would be great to have Steak N Shake too so that I could have a bite at their famous steak hamburgers *did not get the chance to eat any at that time due to my belief :)*. However, I doubt it would be here soon, so probably, just maybe, I would settle for the next milkshake that I could find. Carl's Jr, anyone?

one down, four more to go

Holidays bring out the laziness in human being. If there is a person who would do a research about the former sentence, they are likely to find the truth to that sentence. I don't know if there is a direct link between laziness and holiday or if there is a secret cell in our brains that becomes dysfunctional during the holidays. Whatever it is, I could be one of the case study because there is only a few days left before this hols end it is so embarrassing to think of how I reminded the kids to do their homework and yet I have yet to finish marking their exam papers *blush* *blush*.

I have just started the marking marathon earlier this evening and it was just so hard to resist the temptation to put down the red pen and go surfing the internet instead, or taking a *cough (long) cough* nap. Gimme a break, I was fasting.

Thank God I have a younger brother to boss around. He helps me in marking the objective papers (and has only managed to complete marking 2 classes out of 5 but nevermind, who's complaining). While I strive to mark the essay papers. They didn't write long but it is such a hassle to determine which category they fall under. High C, average C, low C, high D? And so forth *take note that I didn't list neither A nor B because sadly, my students have a long way to go before they would be able to reach that level of awesome-ness :(* Each category has their own criterion and I found myself constantly referring to these criterion in deciding their marks so that's why it took longer to finish marking the whole class.

Anyhoos,

I've completed marking one class. There is only 4 more to go. I think it's time to bribe my brother yet again.

makes you ponder

It's Sunday today and most people would have to go back to work tomorrow (if you're not, I guess that makes you abnormal? ekks. Let's call you special). I'm not going to make you green with envy by stressing how I, the fabulous me who works as an English teacher, who finds constant struggle in making the students realise that it's OK not to understand each English vocabularies because that's what dictionaries are for and who is still trying to adapt to working lifestyle (it's an everyday battle!), is on 2 weeks uber awesome holidays and tomorrow is a no-work-let's play day for me, again :P I know how stressful Sundays can be because at the back of our mind, there's this thought of another week of war at work that's gonna start tomorrow. I hear that laughter is the best medicine, even for fatal diseases. Perhaps, it lightens the misery? Even cracking a smile could put a dampen mood at rest and makes you feel better. So I am here trying to feed you some food for your funny bones (not that bones could eat, but I love to create new idioms and pharal verbs. You should listen to my B. Melayu ones, they are off the hook I tell you!). Sit back and indulge, luves!

1. If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
2. How can 'You're so cool' and 'You're not so hot' be different?
3. A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
4. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
5. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
6. If one goose becomes two geese, why doesn't one moose becomae two meese?
7. Although the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, we must be grateful for small mercies of the language that the feminine pronouns after 'She' don't become 'Shis' and 'Shim'.
8. If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?

her new toy.

She finally got hold of her new toy, which she had been dreaming about aggressively for days :) It was quite a winding road for her to finally own this latest gadget of hers. She was so happy to buy it I could literally see her floating all the way from the exit of the shop to her car.



Isn't it a beauty? I'm so glad she could finally buy it, that it is finally in-stock and she managed to grab one before she goes back to Sarawak. I know how it feels to really want something and not being able to get it (and settling for second best, to make matter worse). It sucks big time! So it was such a relief that she didn't has to settle for second best :) Jaga baik2 lah makcik plis the laptop tuh ko jgn ganas2! I expect to see that black beauty of yours in a great condition when you come back here in August.

BTW, the hols is going by smoothly so far. Some things didn't turn out how I wanted them to; there were some rendezvous that didn't happen in the end but I guess there's always next time. More time to concentrate on marking the students' paper then! (all I need now is to actually start marking the papers though).

I'm so glad I managed to see my nee chan and hugged her. Even just for a fraction of time. It was so brief! But I was overjoyed nonetheless :) And it made my weekend too when my goldfish came all the way to accompany me to a friend's wedding and drive us to KL, all in a day. It must be super exhausting and all these makes my heart grows fonder towards my goldfish.