Tuesday, July 28, 2009

on Tuesday morning

Many teachers love having a class right before recess time. Just threat the students that they won't be enjoying their recess time if they didn't complete their work and there you go, the whole class would be at their best hardworking level ever. This is what I normally do too ;p. I had a single period lesson with 1 Hibiscus which conveniently falls exactly before recess and this is the time for me to display my cool authority. I get to hold them back in the classroom.

When the class ended and I flashed them my invisible vampire fangs, a few students were left in the classroom. Most of them had super speedily completed their works. Credits had to be given to them although some of their work is almost impossible to be read without a slight attack of headache.

Few minutes passed and there were three students who still haven't finished their work. I noticed this one boy who is still sitting in the classroom, reluctant to go and enjoy his well-deserved recess time although he had long completed the work given to him, so I casually asked him;

"Tak rehat ke Hairilnizam" (Yes, I call him with his full name).

"Tak" *Looks outside the classroom*

"Pergilah rehat, makan kat kantin tuh"

"Tak pe lah cikgu saye x bawak duit la" *in a tone that showed he was hoping this issue won't be raised again *

Zupp. Realisation hit me. Sometimes I forgot that these students are real human being, they have issues, problems, and a life outside of the school. They sometimes treat the school as their escapism. They are not really interested in learning, they are forced to learn and when they are forced to over and over again, being scolded both at home and at school, they repel and rebel. I forgot how impossibly hard it felt being a teenager, let alone a teenager with issues. In the midst of our lethargy, our lack of time and pressure, we chose the easy way out - that is, to let it out on the students. I always find it hard to listen to colleagues who complained A LOT about the students. The dialogue would almost always goes like this "Diaorg tak fikir ke....bla bla bla". The answer is, they don't. Neither do both of us when we were 16 and thinking that the rest of the world is against us. It doesn't help too now that many parents are slowly letting loose of their authorities which resulted in the kids feeling that they are unstoppable. Whatever it is, letting it out on the students, hoping that they would behave like an angel at school and punishing those that are sometimes innocent, are not the best solution. What is the best solution, then?

I don't have a clue about that too. I just strive to try my very best, every single day and I tried to be positive about it.

And oh, back to Hairilnizam,

I know that most of the students in this classroom come from family with a low economic status. Their apparel kind of gives the way. So I asked him to come and help me carry the exercise books to my desk. Casually asking him again why he didn't go and enjoy his recess, it was evident that he didn't want the issue to be raised again.

"Nah, awak amek nih pegi kantin beli makanan tau. Makan tau"

"
Time kaseh cikgu!" And he gave a sheepish smile that made me felt good inside.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

it's only wednesday?

Why does it seems that this week is particularly slower than last week? I honestly thought today is Thursday. It feels Thursday. I can even say that it looks Thursday. It feels so much like Thursday that I actually thought of packing my balik kampung stuff and load them in my car because that's what I do on Thursday. But if it's Thursday, it means pay day for this month. Slightly earlier than usual because 25th falls on Saturday this time around. But nope, I'm still broke so it must mean that today must really be Wednesday. 2 more days to go through before I can have a 2-days break off this place. And 2 more days before I get to be Potter-fied. Wands at the ready!

Monday, July 20, 2009

what the heart wants right towards pay day

The few days before pay day is almost always the hardest. There are times when there were very few notes in the wallet. And it has to be during these times that the heart wants heaps and heaps of stuff! As if to try my patience and endurance, this would be the time when the craving of eating all types of yummy-licious food hits me. And it has to be during this time that my hand itches so bad to shop, shop, shop. This is the time when I think I need a new shower foam that smells really good and would be able to put me in a really good mood before I go to work. And it's during times like these that I realise I need a new pair of shoes and some new apparel to have fun with! Geez, there's no worse time to be so materialistic. But, is it still materialistic when I came to realisation that I need (some) new red pen so that I could mark the students' works more, urm, efficiently?

Oh god, brace my heart to face this few more days. Sure, plastic is an easy way out but I don't want to be scratching my head when I get the bill at the end of the month!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

exam week was horrendous 10 yrs back but now it's a blessing!

10 years back (that would be when I was 15), exam was a horrific experience. I feel tightness in my tummy, I sense the urge to do revision but I always fail to do so. I usually ended up going through the pages in a glance and went to sleep, relying solely on my sometimes dysfunctional brain.

But it's a blessing for me now.

What's not to love? The kids behave better during these times. Less noise hence less headache (the school could be super noisy no joke). And I don't have to do any preparation in teaching them. Got to be in classroom, watching them like a hawk with a fierce face and sometimes speak to them in an icy cold tone "I thought I told you no talking during exam?" with an even icy-er look in my eyes. Go back early since there's no extra class during exam week and I can watch movies on my laptop to my heart's content.

So it can be concluded that this week is an easy breezy week. It's like laying lazily under the sun while watching the wave of the beach hitting the sand. Cold drinks in my right hand while the other hand holding a book (preferably a chick lit. Or harry potter would work too). Soaking in the salty smell of the sea. Gosh it's gonna be Friday tomorrow. It doesn't seem fair that time flies so fast when I'm lazing around!

Next week is gonna be a battle yet again. I'm gonna yell every now and then. It gave (even) me a surprise at how loud my voice can actually be! The classes that I always scold must be hating me by now heheh. I want next week to pass by quickly too because I wanna watch Half Blood Prince with an awesome company on next weekend :) I know for a Potterfreak this means I'm so behind everyone else but hey it doesn't matter much to me anymore because it has been my tradition to watch the Potter saga with the people who are close to me and this time, I want to watch it with him.