EMOTIONAL AFFAIR

I don’t know about you but what comes to my mind when I see the word affair is betrayal, and sex, too. But apparently these two are not the only ones that have got to do with affair. It seems that there is such thing as emotional affair too. Interesting. Be warned, towards the end of this entry, some of throats might undergo sudden tightness. A classic sign that marks you are not that innocent. Read on.

So how do you know that you are actually involved in an emotional affair?

• You keep meetings and conversations secret from your partner.
• You say and do things with another person that you never would have done in front of your partner.
• You make a point to arrange talk time with someone other than your partner.
• You share things with another person that you don’t with your partner.

You facing difficulty to breathe / swallow?

“But that’s what I do with my friends, we share stuff / I don’t wanna hurt my partner’s feelings / I was only seeking for advises from the opposite sex, etc” - Reading the bulleted points above must’ve made you come up with all sorts of reasoning and excuses. But according to Dr Gail Saltz, those reasoning and excuses are just denials. You could share problems with your partners, you don’t have to hide your rendezvous from your partners. You don’t have to delete text messages in your handphones out of fear being discovered by your partners because you don’t wanna hurt their feelings – which ironically, by doing so, you would hurt him/her even worse.

When you find that it is easy to share things with another people, you will eventually become attracted / interested to that person. Ever experienced that your friendship becomes more meaningful when you shared your crushes tale / embarrassing moments / gossips etc with your friends? It becomes easier to talk to them. I suppose the same concept could be applied here. You will become dependant on that person to make you feel good, especially when you feel that it is such a relief to be able to tell other person about your problems, secrets and the likes.

If you DO feel that you are having an emotional affair or are heading your way there, here are some advices from Dr Gail herself;

ü END it. No halfway, no ‘kind of’. You have the power to curb this problem that you yourself had triggered.

ü Figure out why you did it. You can work it from there. If you heart is not in the relationship anymore, maybe it’s time to ‘fess up before hearts get severely broken.

ü I like this one the most – Be trustworthy to build trust back. DO what your partner needs you to do (eg : coming home right after work, breaking off ALL contact with the other person)

ü Be patient. Rebuilding trust takes time.

More often than not that we don’t appreciate what we have until we lose it.

So, do appreciate.

Saying I love you doesn’t end there. It needs acts and thoughts that show you mean it. And by attaching yourself in a relationship, it means lots of sharing needs to be done. If you’re not ready to do it perhaps it’s not time for you to BE in a relationship afterall.

(With close reference to Dr. Gail Salts article from http://gailsaltz.ivillage.com/love/archives/2008/07/emotional-affairs.html?dst=rss%7CMSNBC_Today_Love)

GUESS SHE'S GONNA DO IT AGAIN ;)

She rocked the pop scene at the age of 16. I was 14 at that time (She was born in 1981, which makes me 3 years younger than her but she was born in December..so..) And boy did I adore her. I wanted to be like her. Those dance moves, those innocent eyes, sweet girl-next-door appearance and her fabulous bod. Damn she was hot.

Her songs were cheesy but I liked them anyway. I even bought her cds. Original ones, mind you. And back during those days, an original cd costs around 40 bucks. And I was only a school kid. But who could resist her baby one more time.

Her magic on me started to wear off when I was around 18. And that was also the time when she was not the ‘It’ girl anymore. It was Avril’s time. And I was so into the so called pop punk music, so I ditched Britney’s.

After that, she just went spiralling down. She got married, got it annulled, she became the party girl and decided to chuck her undies. She later found lurvvve with Kevin Federline, of which in my opinion, rocked and shook her world. He rocked it by showering her with the love and affection that she probably had been craving for and she got two adorable kids out of their chaotic relationship. He shook it by the complexity that their matrimony had to go through, because of what he was like and how princess-ly she was. Quite a bad combo but hey isn’t love is blind.

Last year was definitely her year, but not in a good way. The drama was too much and that was what probably caused that dude to cry and beg for others to leave Britney alone on youtube. She was constantly on E!, all for the wrong reasons. And her supposedly to be a comeback performance on MTV awards (the one where she sang gimme more) was a clear-cut fiasco. The fallen of a pop princess became the front page of most tabloids and damn I really thought she would committ suicide during that time.

And that was why I felt relieved to know that she finally allowed some sense to be knocked into her head. Either it came from her family, friends, entourage or probably from the pop princess herself, I don’t really know but what I DO know is that it could be a new beginning of her era again. Come on, break the ice is already a regular on air and I actually really enjoy listening to it (I even have it on my I-pod and it’s one the songs that I must listen to before I doze off)!

And I’ve been hearing a lot about Britney getting better. She even looks better now (just look at the top picture!) And she’s also trying to work things out with Kevin (which is really a good thing for her kids!). So, I, as a former devoted fan of Britney Spears, wish her well and hopefully she’ll be back with killer songs that rock the chart. And for her personal life, hopefully she’ll always be blessed. I miss seeing those fabulous abs. They are an inspiration! ;p

IN THE NAME OF...

I stumbled upon this cool site by chance.

I don’t quite believe that one’s personality is determined by one’s name. If that is true, then we surely would’ve the prison congested with people with the same name, or universities packed with whatever-names-that-means-intelligent. Name is just a name. But it is fun to know what does your name ‘supposed’ to mean once in a while, although knowing about it won’t necessarily change us for the better (or god forbid, worse?) That is what websites such as this is for. To meet our sometimes wimpy wants. And here is the analysis of my name. I shall comment here and there of what’s accurate (or what I think is accurate, anyway *grin*) and what’s rubbish.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. (HAHAHA, this would probably be true in like, 5 more years when I get to do something that I actually like ;p)
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. (and I thought I’m such a good hypocrite).

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. (I DO have a short attention span and God knows how long I’ll continue blogging haha)
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start (ditto the above. Blame it on the short-attention-span-ness)

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. (I blurted a couple of times that I might not want to settle down, but deep down inside, shit, I really do want to start my own family. Damn)

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection (well I do have my limits. There are times when I don’t even care! :P)
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. (only when I’m forced to. Or when the situation asked for it)
You have the classic "Type A" personality (whatever this supposed to mean)

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts (it’s so true it’s creepy ;p)
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.(But…it’s also mentioned above there that I am intuitive. Hurm. Now I’m confused! –a confession tho, YES, I get jealous easily)

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.( I MIGHT appear as relaxed but am actually NOT)
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. (The key is to practise hypocrisy. Smile eventho your heart is aching)

You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience (this one makes me sounds old ;p)
You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along.
But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. (Thanks to the Almighty above. Really hope I won’t run out of it)
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. (How to spread it? Sneeze and let other catch it?)

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. (Gossip makes things 10x times worse than it actually is and that’s why I hate it but everyone is doing it –spreading gossip. You can’t help but to listen to them. No spilling of secrets tho. That’s off limit)
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. (Or too deep in daydreaming! LOL)

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings. (damn don’t I have a lot to offer? ;p)
You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.
Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them. (And yes, a pathetic yes, my emotions always weigh me down and they always play a role in deciding my day – crappy or happy. And that’s why I love companionship, helps me to distract from those negativity)

And that is all. I do have a long name, don't I?

This somehow feels like a therapy session. HAHA.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

Go ahead. You know you want to :P

MORE THAN A HERO, DEFINITELY MORE THAN A VILLAIN

There was a lot of hype prior to the screening of the latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight. Most of it, in my opinion, is because Heath Ledger who played the Joker in this movie died in the midst of filming it. I initially did not really planned to be a part of this hype. I did not even remember that the movie would hit the local cinemas this 17^th July.

It just so happened that I watched it today. The very first day it is screened here in Malaysia. Quite an interesting story on how did I come to watch it on weekdays at 12.15 pm (and nope, it’s not public holiday, and yes, the school was on as usual.) To cut the story short, let’s just say that God must’ve really love me that He decided I should have a fun time today.

A colleague of mine suggested of going to the cinema in the middle of the noon. We initially agreed to only go for a shopping spree but she probably had a change of heart (or probably decided to save some money because she had splurged few days back on bag and clothes).

And it just so happened that The Dark Knight was the earliest show.

I was sceptical, because of the not-so-amusing experience I had of watching Batman Begins back in Auckland. Damn it was boring. Not even the hotness factor of Christian Bale could distract me from reeling in the boredom.

But this one is far from boring.

It begins excitingly with a robbery. One heck of a bank robbery by one heck of a villain.

And from that moment onwards, the movie keeps on making your heart pounds fast. The story develops beautifully and the actions that are packed in the movie do kick some serious arses. It’s relatively normal to have a well developed plot with awesome actions in a movie. But it’s quite hard to get several performances that is worthy of a standing ovation in ONE movie. And it’s a movie based on comic, mind you.

Christian Bale excels as Batman. He is probably my most favourite Batman, with Michael Keaton comes in second. The way he talks, he moves, (his body *gasps*) he epitomized an enigmatic hero. Also worth mentioning are the performances by Morgan Freeman, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Cane as well as Aaron Eackhart who plays ‘two-faced Harvey’ rather brilliantly. He let himself being manipulated by The Joker and we could actually see that progression. Brilliant.

On top of all these superb performances, Heath Ledger’s surpasses theirs.

I really hate clowns, so so much. Ever since I watched the thriller ‘It’ (you watched it too? If you did, chances are, you’d hate clowns too), I have a strong dislike towards them. But Heath Ledger made them looks somewhat cool *shivers*. Cool because he does whatever he wants to do, regardless the impossibility and he’s the puppeteer that ensures everyone else around him plays their part the way HE wanted them to. And he did all these without others realising it. Now, that’s what I call a true puppeteer.

Ledger truly did become The Joker in Dark Knight. With his smeared red lipstick and whitey face, along with his I-could-care-less attitude, it is easy for you to fall in this imagination that The Joker really does exist. He is terrific. His voice and the way he talks could very well haunt you hours after you have left the cinema. Watching him in Dark Knight, you can’t help but feel his genuine intention to really want to see the world just burn, burn, burn. And somehow, my twisted mind repeatedly told me that “Wouldn’t it be awesome if I could be The Joker”. But this thought diminishes in a zap everytime I see THE Batmobile and also this one time when I see Wayne’s Lamborghini.

I am so tempted to type more about this movie but I know it would almost certainly have a lot of spoilers. And I know how some people hate spoilers. So I shall put my words into a rest here although good God how my fingers itch! All in all, it is an excellent action movie. Yes, the story is sad and gloomy. The setting and lighting also make you feel somewhat dark. The performances of the actors are brilliant and I, I walked out of the cinema with a hunger for a vendetta.

Kidding!

Feeling Oriental

I hail from Melaka. What about you?

Do you know everything about your hometown?

Can you take a friend (who’s coming to visit) around your hometown, showing him/her ALL of the attractions and the pride of your hometown?

Most importantly, would you be able to get back to the route that you intended to take (in less than a few minutes) after you’ve accidentally took the wrong one?

I was born and raised in Melaka. Although after that I spent a few years away from Melaka, I can humbly say that I am a Malaccan, through and through. And that is why it is such a shame to admit that there are many things about my hometown that I know very little about. I could even get lost here, despite the small vicinity.

Being 24, I feel I am bit older and naturally, with age comes nostalgic feeling. I want to know this place a bit better. I don’t want to stare in awe anymore as a colleague describes how he found the best pineapple tart in the world is sold at Jonker Street, Melaka when I don’t even know exactly how to get to Jonker St, let alone indulging my taste bud with those delightful pineapple tart.

So to Jonker St I went.

To begin the experience with, I marvelled at my own negligence. It is so easy to get to Jonker Street! It’s a stone’s throw away from Mahkota Parade. But parking your vehicle might be of a challenge. However, since you’ll be arriving late in the evening (Jonker Street is waaaay more happening later in the evening, when all the stalls are open), you don’t have to buy a coupon to park your car and that is kinda a relief. I said kinda, because that also means some ignorant people would park their car just about anywhere and that probably would annoy you somewhat.

The moment I stepped my feet at Jonker St, I felt like I was in a totally different place. It doesn’t feel like I was in Melaka at all. The environment was very lively! When I was there, there were an open Chinese karaoke session going on and many aunties (can you believe it!) sang their heart out in public. There’s also this uncle who must’ve really been in the mood because he was dancing in front of the stage, alone. Visitors, locals and abroad took a lot of pictures of him, he must be unofficially famous now, all over the globe :P

I divide the items that are sold there into 2 basic categories, namely FOOD and inedible stuff ;p. I’ll touch on the latter category first because I’m a firm believer in saving the best for the last :)

There in Jonker Street, you can find clogs (and they are really pretty!), printed t-shirts, decorative items (for both home + car), key chains, beads, accessories, toys, collectible coins, books, and good God, they even sell cute, adorable puppies there! So the items that are sold there are pretty random. Just make sure to have extra ringgit in your wallet in case there are some attention grabbing stuff that you just had to buy :)

Now, let’s talk about FOOD.

And I’m not only talking about some silly chips or kerepek.

As I’ve had mention earlier, Jonker St is quite famous for its pineapple tart. The hawkers bake them there and then; there are ovens on the left and right of the street. I smelt nicely baked tart along the street. I stumbled upon a stall that sells this pineapple tart in different flavours and colours. I am certain they just use colourings on the dough but it is still attractive though. And I bought some, out of curiosity :P

There are also simple food that you can snack on while browsing the stalls. I noticed a few stalls that sell fruits on stick that are dipped in chocolates and sprinkled with colourful chocolate rice. A friend of mine was kind enough to treat me and my girl pal for a scrumptious fruits-on-stick. No need to worry about the chocolate dripping on your clothes because they dry quite well, just like the McDonald’s chocotop ice cream (if you are not hasty enough to eat it the moment the McDonald’s crew hand the ice cream to you). Aside from pineapple tart and fruits-on-stick, there are also other dishes to please your appetite and drinks to quench your thirst. Just choose, point, pay and indulge.

Because we were rather hungry and snacking could never satisfy our hunger, we went inside this particular restaurant that is famous for its baba nyonya’s dishes and cendol. And good gracious, there were heaps of people! All tables were taken but we decided to wait anyway. This massive crowd could only mean one thing – the food is really all that.

Jonker 88 – living museum is the name of the restaurant. As the name suggested, there are several items being displayed in glass cabinets and customers could buy these items should they want to. Like I’ve mentioned earlier, this restaurant is famous for its baba nyonya’s dishes and cendol and I noticed that these two types of delicacies are on almost every table. Some of the menu that I could recall (forgive me, but the food was really great, I could remember only bits about other stuff apart from the super delicious RENDANG CHICKEN NOODLE itself ;p) are nyonya assam laksa (has significant sour taste, different from the usual laksa), baba laksa (bear in mind, these two names I’ve mentioned might have been swapped –thanks to poor memory got lost in the midst of gulping the *kuah greedily), seafood assam laksa, and heaps more. There are also juices, coffee and tea for your choice of beverage but most of the customers prefer to have cendol as both of their desert + beverage. And boy did their cendol presentation made my mouth water! A mountain of ice shaves spilt with *santan, perfected with dribbles of melted *gula melaka, all in one cute oriental porcelain bowl.

Because of the ridiculous number of customers, the initial menu that I pick unfortunately was no longer available for my famished tummy and therefore I had to settle for another. It was far from a disappointment. The Rendang Chicken Noodle that I had was simply bowl-licking good! It was spicy just to my liking and it was very rich in flavour. The santan was not too thick that could sometimes take you to the verge of vomiting. Going out from the restaurant, I was a one happy, full customer (with a rounder belly).

As I was leaving this exciting street that is also known as JALAN HANG JEBAT recently, I took a lot of pictures. Pictures of hawkers preparing their dishes, visitors in awe as they’re spoilt with choices, tourists hanging out at local bars whilst sipping their cold beers, lights of various colours that make the place even more hip and of course, pictures of my favourite people, my friends. We went in my friends’ *kembara all sweaty and our face was oily, but my heart grew fonder, to the place that I call home.

Now I feel even more Malaccan :)

*kembara - a local car

*santan - coconut milk

*kuah - gravy

*gula melaka - a special type of sugar

The Game of Love~*

Did it remind you of Santana’s and Michelle Branch’s song? (Whatever happens to Michelle Branch anyway?)

Love is something that I reckon wanted by almost everyone.

A good friend of mine wants to be loved. She is now in search of her ‘the one’. She’s finding it hard. But I tell her this all the time, don’t look for love too much. They’ll come to you eventually.

What about those who already got the love that they (thought) they wanted from the opposite sex? I guess they should feel thankful. But it’s not that easy. Falling in love is just the beginning of a game that could be really tiring for some soul.

Are there really a lot of differences between the boys and the girls? Do girls/ladies demand (sometimes) a bit too much of an attention? And do the boys/guys (sometimes) are really in the dark and they need to be guided (thorough step-by-step) on what do the girls/ladies expect from them? That is what I heard mostly.

This one is especially dedicated to the male readers of my blog;

i. Do you still remember the way you court us? All those attention, effort and time that you lavishly spent on us are greatly appreciated. And for spoiling us in the beginning of the relationship, yes, we DO expect (at least some of it) to continue throughout our togetherness :) i.e. – all the time.

ii. We do compare our relationship to other couple. Yes, we do realize that each individual is unique but we (always) failed to notice that you lot don’t think alike.

iii. ONE txt/sms per day is all it takes to assure us that you guys still remember us all the time and are not doing anything fishy that involves other girls (although, yes, this might not be true but assurance is a GREAT booster to our usually crappy day).

iv. DO NOT take really ‘friendly’ picture of you and a girl. NEVER. Even if you don’t intend to keep it, that girl might just upload it on facebook and tag you. Trust me, it’ll hurt your girl’s feelings just by looking at the pic.

v. When you’re bringing your girl to a rendezvous with your mates, maintain eye contact with her occasionally. It’s a sure way to tell her that although you are with your mates, she still has a really special place in your heart. Thus she won’t feel so much neglected.

vi. If you are in the relationship for quite some time, drop hints at random times that you DO intend to tie the knot with her one day. How to? Easy. Just start your sentence with “When we get married…..” and you’ll see her smiling radiantly.

vii. Do show your jealousy every now and then. But sans the ridiculous accusation and beating her is a big NO NO. A light jealousy is really cute and us girls adore cutesy stuff ;P

viii. Do not forget our birthday. It’s the nastiest thing you could ever do. It’s almost unforgivable! And you are expected to call & txt & leave her a testimonial on friendster. And also an intimate meeting just between you and her. A present along with it would be REALLY nice too.

ix. If you think you’ve hurt your girl’s feelings, all you’ve got to do is say SORRY, and I LOVE YOU. The latter word especially, would work wonders in cheering up your girl when you see that she is quiet for no apparent reason that you could comprehend.

My my, if I were to jot everything down, I might as well write a book and make a fortune out of it. I even have a kick ass title for the book and I can just picture how the cover will be like (I do love daydreaming, it’s sort of a therapy for me, aside taking a nap - zzZZzz). But the main thing is, I do realize that males need a really thorough guidance. I guess you find us girls as mystifying and we find u lot as perplexing :P But I suppose the one thing that all of us have to keep in mind is that LOVE is NOT a game. It’s a project, a venture, an assignment that needs teamwork and mutual aid. And just like how we want to complete a project/ an assignment, we need to cooperate. Because if we don’t, it’s almost sure that it will fail miserably.

OLD before time. literally.

It’s so random. Yes, the title. Because I just washed my hair and both of my shampoo and the conditioner smell like mango. Oops, Carlton’s Cosmetics decided to call it ‘balsam’ instead of mere conditioner. And they cost (quite) a fortune, for a shampoo. It was my first exhilarating experience of buying something expensive for my hair. So exhilarating, my heart nearly stopped as I swiped my plastic money and after a feel-good- feeling-because-I-just-bought-something-good-for-myself, I thought to myself, Fuck, I’m not gonna be able to settle my credit card’s payment now. Unless I wanna skip the car loan’s payment. And that is OUT of the question. But let’s forget about these money matters. They never fail in giving you headache and those familiar cold sweats.

I have a dry hair. Thanks to gene inheritance (both sides) I’m starting to have gray hairs too! *(I know,)gasp* And I’m only 24. I used to ask my little brother to yank them, because I hate them and it felt really horrible to be 24 and to have gray hairs. Naturally, for someone who have started earning own money, I went to a beauty products’ shop and immediately bugged the sales assistance. “I’m24IhavegreyhairsandIhatethemverymuchcanyoupleasehelpmegirl?"

The sales girl blinked. I only intended to buy ONE product. Like, a hair tonic or something.

Yes, I bought a hair tonic. Along with a bottle of shampoo and balsam. And they cost me, ahem, VERY near to 300 bucks. I assured myself that it was something that I JUST had to buy. I wouldn’t want to wait until my head is full of gray hairs before I find the solution, would I? (speaking of which, that might takes about 8-10 years, looking at the rather inspiring progress)

Now, it has been a month. Did those products work? I can safely say I’m nearly there. The progress had undergone a downfall and my hair feel smooth and, this is what I like best, it smells of mango~! :)

But, am I WILLING to fork out another 300 bucks when I ran out of them? Oh, well, I’m still thinking about it.!

p/s - darn it, I can't find a picture of CARLTON's hair and scalp tonic! - it's one heck of a lavish indulgence.

oh another p/s - And NO, am in NO way affiliated to the CARTLON"S company. Would be nice to be one of their "I've-tried-it-and-hell-yeah-it-works!" models tho (I love freebies and figured that being a model, you just have to be given free stuff!) - Life's a bitch.