AMMAR dearest,
Yesterday was your 26th birthday and yes, you are now officially as old as I am. It's OK to be old though because regardless of your age, I would forever think you are the hottest male that has ever set foot on this planet. Honest.
I have many wishes and prayers for you.
The most important wish that has always top my list more than everything else is for your great health and longevity. I have been aware about your sickness since we were back in high school. You had never made it apparent to others that you are sick so that made me felt that you are a one cool dude. It also kind of made me forgot about your health condition.
Who would've thought that 10 years down the road, we would grew closer and be more than just friends =)
And as we get closer, I grew more worried about you. I have never worried about what I may face in the future, but I am always worried about how you will be and the pain that you might have to go through. I am the kind of person who would protect my loved ones from all the bad things. I have stood up for my friends and family members on several occasions. I can take it if people mess with me but I can't take it so well when people mess with my loved ones. So each time I think about how I am useless in not being able to protect you from the sufferings that you might have to endure, I ache inside.
I had a few pretty meaningless monologue where I blame all sorts of things and called all these as being unfair. But it stopped when I managed to kick some sense into my head.
I realised that there is and will never be of use to question fate.
Prayers are our weapon and I use it as much as I could.
There has never been one day where I didn't pray to God to make things easier for you, here and the hereafter. I pray for you to be strong regardless of the circumstance. I also pray for you to continue loving me even when I get fat and all round (OK let's not go there ;-p). I pray that you are always well and happy. I pray for us to be able to go through what we always wish for :-).
Yes there were shittier times than usual where you have voiced your doubts on whether we will be able to go through all those happy times that we wish for. And if I am ready on facing the unpleasant situation that might or might not happen. God knows how scared I am to think about all those things. Therefore I sucked in all the worrywart side of me and let the optimistic side of me shone. I need to be strong for you to be able to lean on me.
I love you so much that even though I was freaking mad, all of my wrath would just fade away each time I see your face.
I love you so much that it would be incomplete not to tell you that I love you on every single day.
I love you so much to stop worrying about you.
I have seen each side of yours. The good and the bad ones. I have seen you going through your ups and down and baby, I still would like to be by your side for the rest of time. You might be the sick one but you keep me sane up here in my head and in my heart so I think we balance each other well :-)
But now let's go down to business.
You already got your birthday gift (and I hope you will never cease using it!).
I do, however, have a second gift for you too.
My second birthday gift for you is a lifetime warranty of love and companionship.
It is non refundable and non exchangable.
Comes with a FOC back massage and recurrent hugs and kisses.
Remember, it's non-returnable! So no getting rid of me there, mister ;-)
Happy birthday my Ammar. Semoga murah rezeki, panjang umur, kesihatan dipelihara, dirahmati Allah dunia dan akhirat dan urusan kamu selalu dipermudahkanNya. Amin.
